My first tattoo, inked in July 2011, is a phrase of “Follow Your Heart” with a heart shaped rose flower at the end (inked on the left side of my ribs). I thought this would be perfect for my first tattoo because it means something to me and it wasn’t “tacky” or done out of greed. The meaning behind “Follow Your Heart” stays attached to my personality, to keep me thriving for my dreams, to follow my heart not my head in tricky situations, to love someone straight from my heart rather then thinking I love them when I don’t. It also came from a message my friend told me once when I had a situation of not knowing what to do…He said “Follow your heart, not your head. Let the head heal your heart when it’s been broken.”.

The design is not completely my own, it’s just something I saw online and threw together, for example, my font came from a font website and the picture of the heart shaped rose came from Google. I ended up using photoshop to play around with the design and throw it together when I felt it looked perfect. It was nothing big or exiting, just something simple, however, I want some more quotes underneath it in the same style writing, I just haven’t found the right words yet.

I had just finished my second year at university for the summer where one day I decided to get my first tattoo done. I took my Mum with me to the tattoo studio down the road from me just to book in for an appointment, but I was told I could have it done straight away! So with the time me and my Mum both had, I went for it! Whilist having it done, I thought I was in as much pain I could possibly be in. I was gripping my Mum’s hands until it was over, but after having my second tattoo, I was proved wrong! I’m not going to give you the aftermath of having one done because all it is-is the healing process of the ink and skin.

My second tattoo is: red ballet pointe shoes with the number “21st”  underneath, inked on 27th December 2011. I wanted a tattoo that defined me as a dancer and I didn’t want anything that would look weird when I was older like a pair of trainers or just plain “dancer” written on me, I wanted something with detail that defined me as one. I tried to avoid having ballet shoes in the first place because i’m not much of a ballet dancer, i’m more of a street dancer, but I suppose the fact that I like to watch ballet rather then doing ballet has put some meaning into the tattoo. The reason behind “21st” comes from the fact that this tattoo was given to me as a birthday present on my 21st birthday and I thought because a 21st birthday is big, it would be nice to add that to the tattoo.

I decided to go to a different tattooist which was cheaper and with such an amazing tattooist/artist, who I have briefly known for a few years. I expected the design to be more detailed and colored in red more but I think I will get even more done to make it more colorful and realistic when I go for my touch up (the red has faded in most places already!). I also wanted it to be longer and wider, but to be honest, I don’t think I could go through any more pain for more than an hour and a half (yes, this took an hour and a half, including 20mins drawing time!). The pain factor was excruciating! I have never experienced that much pain in my life before but in the end it was definitely worth it! I have to admit that it was a bit hard not being able to sit with your back against the sofa for 4 days due to it still being sore and the fact that I have had to stick with wearing a leotard for a week and different types of cleavage underwear wasn’t exactly that comfortable but oh well. The tattoo is still currently healing a little and i’m now back to being in comfortable clothes, but it looks absolutely amazing and I can’t wait for my touch up….and more tattoos!

Anyway I decided to write up my new years resolutions of things that are achievable when I put my mind to it…not pointless stuff most people just dream about and put it in the list. So here's mine:
❤ Eat more fruit, brazil nuts and cut down on chocolate.
❤ Learn to cook more advanced dinners.
❤ Get a job- whether I like it or not!
❤ Pass my driving test and own my own car.
❤ Set up Ruff Edge.
❤ Get my degree, go to graduation.
❤ volunteer at a deaf youth group.
❤ Respect myself more.
❤ Be harder on any guy who approaches me. Don't give in too easily and don't let myself get hurt.
❤ Give up chasing.
❤Get a little portfolio of art work going. Could go towards a tattooing dream.
❤ Do sit ups everyday.
❤ Take a nail technician course.
❤ Go out at every chance I get. Party the night away.
❤ Hoes before bros.
❤ Gi back to being brunette. Quit straightening.

Much love xXx

Well in my opinion, I think they look beautiful and they are a work of art. They don’t have to have a meaning to them, but if they do then it’s just a step up to being even more beautiful and thoughtful. Okay maybe as you grow old, the tattoo will change in some way, but there is an option of getting them covered with a new tattoo or having laser removal. I have one tattoo on my left rib that says “follow your heart” with a rose heart next it. I love it and I really thought about it before having it done straight away once I stepped into the tattooist without having to make an appointment. Now I want more, I know what and where but i’m not saying until I know for definite if i’m going to get them all done (I must admit I want loads with the right meaning at the right time).

I’m getting my second tattoo the day after boxing day. Its gonna be red ballet shoes from my neck down my back with “21st” in small print next to it. I got money for my birthday for a tattoo as long as I had 21st written next to it. I can’t wait! I just hope it all goes ahead and me or the tattooist doesn’t fall ill!

Anyway I’m going to post some tattoo pictures that are inspiring me at the moment . Enjoy!

• I absolutely love this tattoo. I’m going to try and save the space on my right ribs to get something like this. I’d love the skull to be an actual skeleton but with roses around it in different colours to represent the death of my loved ones followed by butterflies around them.

• I love this ear tattoo, I’ve been wanting this for a long while but without the black tribal design on it.
• These ballet shoe tattoos are beautiful. Not what i’m having though!

• I want these words

.

I think that’s enough pictures for tonight. I’ll post some more up soon though!

Hotel

Just me

Phone rings

No guy ain’t staying with me tonight.

Snore Zzzzz

Amazing nights.

Ooh na na whats my name?

I love my night lifestyle in Milton Keynes when i’m there, something’s always happening, the vibe is amazing and you just meet so many people, or should I say for me, boys…yeah okay… through a dance off, staring at him, letting him buy me a drink, randomly kissing/talking to him or just dancing together even with mates in a circle. On night’s out like this I just come alive and I can just simply be myself and become overconfident! I must admit I am apparently a right laugh when i’m drunk- I win dance offs with guys who just simply can’t dance, I get hiccups for ages, I fall over, bump into tables and chairs and just do the most random things to other people- sometimes I wake up in the morning thinking “where the hell did that come from?!”, and from that, I know it was an epic night…because its Milton Keynes! I do have a reputation in Groove though, I guess some people would think i’m a player because I get numbers and I kiss loads of boys without realising, but it’s mainly because of a game- which is really bad! I must admit though, if I see them all at the end of the night whilist dancing with the last guy i’ve danced with, I do feel bad! But at the end of it all i’ve gained good friends…and flirts haha. I’m glad I have met these people, they may not be close friends, but at least I have people to hang out with when i’m out in MK now. I’m also known for my over-confident “get-low” dancing and dance offs- to show off- I don’t mean to…i’m just…Drunk! I can’t help it! I’m just having fun and living life while I can, because outside of this little clubbing world of mine, a smile rarely shows on my face and I think I deserve to at least have fun. I’m not ashamed, I’m over it, because I have learnt that this is me, and if people don’t like seeing me have a little bit of fun then honestly they are not worth it. About a month ago I stupidly jump hugged a mate in the smoking area of Groove, I hurt my head, stupid I know but i’ve learnt not to do it again- and the bouncer who now knows me is keeping an eye on me! When the night ends, I always go back to my hotel alone, just me in my bed, although there is a couple of secrets behind “the end of the night” (if you’re close to me and not blood, i’ll tell you).

I honestly can’t wait for the next night out…this Saturday with a girl mate of mine! Though I know a few of my “flirts” are going to be out and a couple wants to dance with me straight…we’ll have to see how the night goes! Possibly with a bit of jealousy- which is not new and has caused a fight between two boys over me. Hmm I shall have to prevent that from happening again- that’s really not good! I haven’t got much money for then, but I know it’ll be epic, cause it’s not the drink, its the people and the vibe in the club!

I might just blog about the night afterwards!

Goodnight! xxx

Another song to describe exactly how i’m feeling.

If its right now here in my Slough room… it’s just me, already crying after writing that blog, own my own, before the song had even started.

I love this song to pieces. I like the live video better, but for now, this xxx

So i’ll tell you a little bit about me and my love life.

Since secondary school, boys have always had a thing for me. At the time, in school, it was exciting and fun to have a couple of my classmates to like me but as we all left school I realized that only one of them liked me for me…out of possibly six, though “fun” was more like a bum slap where the boys always used to get told off for doing) or a little snog with one. From 15, I finally had a “proper” boyfriend who I had always had a crush on when I used to  live  in Hertfordshire. He was sweet, amazingly funny and really- as I used to say- “buff” with his grungy clothes and cute curly hair. Our time spent together was mainly on msn due to our distance apart of living, however, when we met up it was a silent relationship of holding hands and walking around the shopping centre, a little cuddle and a kiss there and then, but it wasn’t real love, it was just a crush even though I had him. We split to go our separate ways just after I finished secondary school. We are not in touch but I do miss him. The odd talks with his little brother reminds me of him.

Coming up to 5 years ago, I started college studying something I love. My hair was long, dyed with blonde streaks in it (it still is now but a little bit different from how it used to be) and I got a bit of attention from my weird sense of fashion. I attracted a few guys, however, I never really properly went out with them on dates, it was more like a “we’ll see what happens when we get to know each other more” kind of thing. After a while of starting college, I signed up to a website to make new friends in my area (so stupid I know, it really shouldn’t be done!) and I had fell in love with a really lovely and kind guy. I was with him for a long-ish time and believe me I had learnt a lot from it once the relationship ended. I discovered home-guys are not really my type if they: play on the xbox 24/7, don’t like going out a lot, don’t like being very social or even just taking their girlfriend out on proper dates once in a while- I mean come on…at least make the effort at some point, just don’t leave it too long! We are not in touch, that hurts but hey fair enough!

But the break-up at the time…really wasn’t so bad afterwards…

As soon as my relationship status on facebook changed, a primary school friend of mine got talking to me, because he had his heart broken at the same time as me so it felt right that we was both there for each other to get through it. However, the more we talked, the more amazing he turned out to be: he made me laugh immensely, he made me smile like a proper geek…he came back from Ireland for me. We started to meet up more and we just simply connected and got close straight away. Between september and christmas I was still fragile from the break up that I started to hurt Aaron by this stupid argument we had through mis-understanding each others humor and just each other as a person and denying his request for me to be his girlfriend.

Its been nearly a year since that happened and thinking about it, its understandable from both sides about what happened there and then…

But I cannot begin to tell you how hugely I regret it, it’s a big regret and its really hurting. Despite still taking I know we both want to meet up but it’s hard right now because hes trying to juggle college, driving and his new job at the same time but i’m also at uni…When will we ever see each other again? I’d do absolutely anything to take it all back and come and see him at any free time i’d have…if he ever gives me his address! I know he still wants me, I can feel it…and hopefully he knows I still love him with all of my heart. He’s only in Barnet. This shall be my mission: when in Barnet, find him and get him back- don’t ever let go. I love you, please give me one last chance?

The discovery of love is still an ongoing journey…but right now I know my heart is in my irish londoner .

Although I love talking to and about him, I feel down everyday. I feel unloved, although i’m loved by my family, I just want the feeling of having love again.

♥

Now for an upbeat song…Give me evvverrrythinng toniggght!

I’m not really much of a blogger, a story writer or anything like that…But I am one to post lots of random status updates on facebook. I’ve been influenced by a very close friend of mine because i’m told it’s something where you can pour out your emotions, be creative and tell the story of your life…So i’m going to give it a try, depending on what mood i’m in, the free time I have away from uni, uni work and research.

Theres so many things in life that I miss so much, want to do…I’m to the point where I want to be out all the time, spending time with friends and having someone to talk to and love right now. But this is failing massively. Even if its just a visit anywhere or a sleepover or a minute or longer. I’m stuck in an emotional hole. I don’t know what to do anymore.